Masturbation 50 Advantages of Masturbation

Masterbation !!!!  Masturbation !!!

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50 Advantages of Masturbation


By Albert Ellis, Ph.D.*

 SEXUAL ADVANTAGES OF MASTURBATION


People can often achieve better sex through resorting to autoerotic practices than they would achieve if they only resorted to interpersonal sexual contacts. For example:

1. They can help establish the philosophy that sex is good in, by, and for itself; and that there is nothing whatever wrong about experiencing it as a fine thing in its own right.

2. They can explore various kinds of self-stimulation and discover which ones are maximally satisfying for themselves.

3. They can frequently learn, through masturbating, enjoyable forms of sexuality that they can subsequently use to achieve satisfactory modes of sex participation with others.

4. They can often judge just how sexually responsive they personally are, and determine how big or little a part they wish sex pleasure to play in their lives.

5. They can manage to repeat enjoyable arousal and orgasm almost at will, without any restrictions from a sex partner. They can thereby participate in sex more frequently than they are likely to do with other individuals.

6. They can best schedule their sex activities as well as their resting periods, between activities, since they do not have to depend on the participation of their partners.

7. They can avoid making undue demands on the time, energy, and sexuality of their partners, thereby often helping these partners have maximum sex satisfaction and minimum pain or frustration.

8. They can in many cases (especially if they are females) have more intense and more satisfying forms of arousal and orgasm than is likely with their regular or special partners.

9. They can best train themselves in suitable sexual fantasies, since they have no interferences or distractions from their partners, and may focus on what is most pleasing and useful to themselves in this connection. Once they learn how to fantasize best during masturbation, they can often transfer this learning to their sex affairs with others.

10. If they have unusual sexual desires or have some kinds of handicaps or deficiencies (such as inability to come to orgasm in a reasonably short period of time), they can often cater to these desires or overcome these handicaps through masturbating than they can with sex partners.

11. They often can focus better on their own sexual sensations and pleasures than when they are distracted or interfered with by the presence of partners. As in the case of fantasy, their learning to focus may then be transferable to their sex acts with others.

12. They may be less limited in their use of mechanical objects (such as dildos), special apparatuses (such as vibrators), fetishes (such as certain objects of clothing), or other sex aids than they would with a partner present.

13. They may be able, in many instances, to engage in much longer periods of arousal and near-orgasm than they would with partners; they may also be able to prolong the duration of their orgasms.

14. They may naturally have, with no intent or special technique on their part, more intense orgasms through masturbation than they are likely to have with others; and they may usually come to orgasm, if they wish to do, much faster through autoerotic practices than through any other mode of sexuality.

15. During masturbation, they can be observed by a partner, and may thus bring themselves and the partner special arousal and satisfaction. They may also be able to learn about their own sexuality and gratification by their partner's observations.

16. They may naturally build up considerable sexual tension when they do not have sex play and orgasm; this kind of tension may be satisfactorily (or more satisfactorily) released through masturbation.

17. Because they find masturbation easily available and ideal for experimental purposes and because they have minimal restrictions in participating in it, they therefore can practice it at whim and may increase their sex desire and proclivities.

18. They may have inhibitions about having sex with partners, particularly because they are too shy or ashamed to engage in interpersonal sexuality, and may therefore be afforded a very active sex life despite these kinds of inhibitions.

19. They may have specific sexual handicaps that prevent them from easily acquiring partners--such as a low sex drive, inability to come to orgasm quickly, or unusually small sex organs; and they may be able, in spite of these handicaps, to lead an active sex life through masturbation.

20. They may have specific nonsexual handicaps that prevent them from easily acquiring partners--such as small stature, physical deformity, diseases, or homely features; and they may be able, in spite of these nonsexual handicaps, to lead an active sex life through masturbation.

EMOTIONAL ADVANTAGES OF MASTURBATION


People can often achieve greater emotional health and satisfaction through resorting to autoerotic practices than they would achieve if they only resorted to interpersonal contacts. For example:

1. They can adopt a philosophy of enjoyment that not only aids them in their sexual but in their general life. They can seek more emotional satisfaction and less pain.

2. They can especially see the value of giving to themselves, and not merely to others; and while not becoming entirely autistic or self-centered, they can add a hedonistic philosophy to that of social interest--or choose, if that is their wish, to become more devoted to themselves than to others.

3. When they are forced by conditions or circumstances to be alone, and this is against their wish and they feel lonely, they can divert themselves into the pleasurable pursuit of masturbation and thus feel much better.

4. They can use autoerotic pursuits to distract themselves from anxiety, self-downing, depression, and other disturbing feelings. Masturbation will not solve these basic emotional problems; but as a distraction technique it is one of the best and will at least serve as temporary palliation for emotional distress in innumerable instances.

5. Masturbation can be used as a shame-attacking and guilt-attacking homework assignment. In rational-emotive therapy (RET) and other forms of cognitive-behavior therapy, a good many "shameful" acts are given as homework assignments for individuals to practice, to show them that nothing is intrinsically "shameful"--that people only attribute "shame" or "guilt" to certain acts. As such an assignment, masturbation can prove very helpful emotionally.

6. People can use masturbation to gain confidence in their own ability to arouse themselves and bring themselves to orgasm; and when they gain such confidence, they tend to feel much better and stop downgrading themselves, sexually and in other areas of their lives.

7. When people's lives are filled with few enjoyments and many frustrations, masturbation can easily remain as one of their frequent pleasures and distractions. It may enhance their lives and make them feel much happier and less depressed.

8. People can use masturbation as a goal-directing and pro- thinking activity. Given the problem of satisfying themselves sexually, and not having interpersonal outlets easily available, they may think up various forms of masturbatory activities that will help them live more happily; and they may also develop useful goal-directed attitudes and pursuits in the process.

9. People can use masturbation as a form of self-exploration, to discover exactly what they like or do not like sexually. Thus, they can explore their own likes and dislikes as well in other important areas of their lives. They can also become more risk taking and adventurous through these avenues of enjoyment.

10. People can not only distract themselves from disturbed feelings by masturbating, as mentioned above, but they can also directly release bodily and emotional tensions thereby. The release of tension through masturbation frequently helps men and women relax, get ready for other pursuits, and restfully sleep when they want to do so.

HEALTHFUL ADVANTAGES OF MASTURBATION


People often achieve greater physical and general health through resorting to autoerotic practices than they would probably achieve if they only resorted to interpersonal contacts. For example:

1. Undesirable pregnancy and abortion are avoided.

2. The possibility of acquiring venereal diseases from others and acquiring various other diseases, such as colds, coughs, respiratory ailments, skin infections and the like is minimized. [This was written before AIDS; that medical problem could be added to this list.--Editor]

3. People often aid their physical healthy by managing to obtain regular sexual release and satisfaction; and sometimes by going through involved physical exercises as they masturbate.

4. Women, in particular, may help overcome pre-menstrual tension or other physical conditions association with their menstrual cycles when they masturbate.

5. Masturbation often leads to relaxed sleeping conditions and to concomitant conditions that aid some people's physical health.

6. When physically ill or disabled, people can often masturbate when it would not be practical for them to have interpersonal sex experiences, and they may thereby help themselves back to a healthier condition.

RELATIONSHIP ADVANTAGES OF MASTURBATION


Although masturbation, when resorted to by oneself, is obviously a solitary pursuit, some people actually achieve better relationships with their partners or mates than they would probably achieve if they only engaged in sexual contacts with these partners. For example:

1. When one partner or mate wants much more sex than the other, masturbation enables one partner to be steadily satisfied and, at the same time, not impose on the other. This kind of consideration for the other partner frequently enhances the love relationship between the two.

2. When one partner or mate temporarily wants less sex than the other partner--as when one is in the last stages of pregnancy, is ill, or is disabled--masturbation may again enable one partner to be steadily satisfied sexually without imposing on the other. An ill or disabled partner may especially appreciate the other's masturbating; and their relationship may be considerably bettered thereby.

3. When one partner wants sex only occasionally or intermittently, the other partner may keep up his or her level of arousal and interest in sex by masturbating, and may therefore be ready for sex when the first partner wants to be available again. Otherwise, both partners might sink into a kind of sexual apathy and inertia and their sex and love lives might be impaired.

4. People often make themselves hostile toward each other because one partner wants the kind of sex that the other does not, or for various kinds of nonsexual reasons. When they resort to masturbation, they are able to get some of the kind of sex that they cannot obtain from their partner, and thereby hostility abates: since one partner is no longer sexually deprived and the other is not imposed on.

5. Masturbation allows both partners a large measure of freedom and self-satisfaction; when they know that they have this freedom they tend to tolerate some of the restrictions of an enduring relationship much better and have a more loving relationship.

6. Masturbation frequently helps bring about better attitudes on the part of both partners toward themselves and toward others.

7. People who resort to masturbation when they are mated and who find unusual or extra satisfactions in this kind of autoerotic activity tend to feel less overconstrained by the mating relationship and to adjust better to their partners.

8. As noted previously, people who learn self-satisfying sex acts in the process of masturbating can often bring these acts to their participation with others and thereby enhance their interpersonal sex relations.

OTHER ADVANTAGES OF MASTURBATION


Millions of people throughout the world have always found and still find a great many other advantages when they resort to masturbation that they would not find if they only participated in interpersonal contacts. For example:

1. They save a great deal of time and energy arranging for masturbatory pursuits rather than always having to arranged for interpersonal sex.

2. They can easily intersperse their masturbatory activities with nonsexual acts, while they often do not do the same with their interpersonal sex contacts.

3. They can masturbate with just about no paraphernalia, room requirements, space requirements, etc.; while they often have trouble in these respects when having sex with a partner.

4. They can engage in masturbation most inexpensively, while other forms of sex often require some kind of monetary outlay.

5. They can easily and quickly keep themselves out of potential sex, love, or general trouble by resorting to masturbation. If they could not masturbate, they might sometimes be tempted to resort to various kinds of unethical or criminal behavior.

6. They can use masturbation in symbolic, religious, value laden, and other ways and, if they wish, derive unification experiences and other profound nonsexual experiences from engaging in it.

You will note, in the foregoing list, some
fifty advantages of masturbation. The list is hardly exhaustive and could undoubtedly be increased to more than a hundred.



All of which proves--what? Merely that autoeroticism is a major and important part of human behavior. 

 

From the web site Sexual Health Center  http://www.sexhealth.org/infocenter/

we find :they  write  When you look at sex in other cultures -- as I do in the sex chapter in my book "Eat, Drink, and Be Merry" -- the ones that allow men to masturbate freely, the countries that are more open and relaxed about sex than we are in America, have the highest rate of virginity among their young people.

Allowing young people to fantasize and to auto-stimulate is probably the surest route to happier sex lives and fidelity in marriage. A rich fantasy life turns sex into a unique event each time even if you have sex with the same partner for your entire life.

 

Learn about the safest sex possible

http://www.sexhealth.org/infocenter/features.htm

 

C8 FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 1986 . THE Flint JOURNAL

Masturbation a low-risk answer to teen's desires

Dear Ann: This is for the woman in the Bronx who is certain her teen-age son is masturbating:

Lady, if he isn't, something must be wrong with him. Don't pry. It's his body and his business. Nothing will create guilt faster than a parent who says, "Stop it or you'll go crazy."

Actually, it's a God-given release for sexual tension and a lot more moral than going to bed with anybody who happens to be around whenever the urge surfaces. And with teen-agers, it surfaces quite often.

Masturbation beats getting it on with girls you just want to use and giving them a line about being in love. Masturbation also beats getting a girl pregnant. Needless to say, it's better than getting a venereal disease — the most recent nightmare being AIDS.

These are crazy and dangerous times. I'm in favor of the low-risk approach to satisfying nature's demands. Masturbation, while not the most glorious experience in the world, can defuse the sex drive and keep people out of trouble. I was delighted that the Rev.

Malloy of Notre Dame University said in a column a while back that many of the more liberal and enlightened Catholic priests do not consider masturbation a sin. — R.A.H. in Santa Monica

ANN LANDERS

Dear R.A.H.: You'll get no argument out of me on this one. Thanks for a good letter.

Do click on http://www.sexhealth.org/infocenter/ and learn what every boy, girl, women and man should know to provide sexually healthy attitudes.

Email me at pobrien48@Comcast,net

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