COG WOMEN IN LOVE

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"WOMEN IN LOVE"--MO       December 20, 1973       GP No.292

       [EDITED: "HomeARC note: The current Charter states the Family's current principles and policies regarding relationships between women."]

Copyright © December 1973 by The Children of God
P.O. Box 31, WC2E 7LX, London, England or GPO Box 3141, San Juan, Puerto Rico 00936

       1. HERE IT SEEMS TO ME WE'RE BACK AGAIN TO THE SCRIPTURES GOD GAVE US ON "ALL THINGS." If those Scriptures apply to heterosexual relationship, male and female, why can't they apply to the relationships of two women?--Why not, if the same rules are applied? When He's speaking of love, He says if you do it in love, against such there is no law, right?--If it's real love. So if it is real love, why not?

       2. IT IS NOT EXPLICITLY FORBIDDEN, SUCH AS IT IS WITH MEN WITH MEN. Male homosexuality is expressly, definitely and specifically forbidden and cursed and called sodomy. In that case it is absolutely forbidden--it's a sin. But I don't see and I've never been able to find any place in the Bible where it is forbidden to women.

       3. BUT THERE THE RULES WOULD APPLY in any female-to-female relationships the same as they apply to all things, right? It must be in real love, not just a sexual lust. It must be love. You must do it in love. It must be done with understanding. It must be done by faith, not under condemnation, knowing your liberties in the Lord. And it must be done with mutual consent.--All the same rules apply.

       4. BUT IF IT CAUSES ONE OF THESE YOUNGER SISTERS TO STUMBLE, there's some problem, some difficulty in the relationship. If it bears bad fruit, it's bad. From what I can see in this specific instance, the one girl seemed to be a real lesbian and was simply enjoying sexual relationships with either one of the others, it didn't seem to matter. Whereas both the other two girls seemed to be on a more equal basis, both of them being genuinely feminine and not masculine. They were as two sisters in love and seemed to have a good relationship. (Maria: They've both been married before--they're in a Widow's Colony.)

       5. BUT THIS OTHER GIRL SAYS SHE'S NEVER HAD MASCULINE RELATIONS, male relations. She's always been a lesbian, and to me that sounds like a form of perversion. When a girl has never had any normal desire for a man, I begin to wonder if it's a spiritual thing. It is certainly not normal or natural as God intended, therefore such Lesbianism is a perversion.

       6. I AM NOT AN AUTHORITY ON THE SUBJECT and I just have not had any experience along this line. I am not a woman, and I've never had an experience as a woman with a woman, so I couldn't very well speak from experience. But as far as I know, I don't believe I have ever found anything in either the Bible or any of the sex books that I have studied which seems to find anything evil or bad or harmful about normal, loving, affectionate and even physical relationships between normal feminine woman.

       7. THEY CAN BECOME VERY EMOTIONALLY INVOLVING AS CAN ANY LOVE AFFAIR. Two human souls, two human hearts can really love each other, male or female. If they really love each other, if they're in love, they're in love!--And if it happens to be two women, so what? What's the matter with that?

       8. I DON'T SEE WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT, except that, if anything, you might say it's subnormal and that it would be far better if it were heterosexual from the standpoint that it could bear the physical fruit of children, for sexual attraction was designed primarily not only for husband-and-wife relationships but also the physical fruit.

       9. YOU COULD COMPARE NORMAL SISTERLY LOVE FOR EACH OTHER WITH THE WIFE OF GOD! He has a multiple Wife, right?--The multiple Bride, the plural Church.--And we're to love each other as brothers and sisters and so on. We are the Bride, and yet we also love one another, although our love for Him is the greatest and we're His Bride.

       10. OF COURSE, YOU'RE APT TO HAVE AS MANY PROBLEMS WITH IT AS MARRIAGE! But to say it is all bad and wrong and abandon it all just because there were some problems with the emotional involvements is like saying, "Well now, let's abandon marriage because we've had some bad marriages and we've had some marriages with problems, some marital relationships which cause difficulties and there were certain jealousies, so let's give up marriage!"

       11. YOU HAVE TO JUDGE EACH INDIVIDUAL CASE ON ITS OWN MERITS: Is it good? Is it good for them? Do they do it and have that relationship with real genuine love for each other, not just physical attraction, but real love? Is it helpful to each of them up or is it harmful? Does it build them up or tear them down? Does it have good fruit and foster good relationship? Does it have a good effect on others?

       12. YOU HAVE TO JUDGE ALL RELATIONSHIPS ON THESE BASES, INCLUDING A NORMAL MARRIAGE. You could ask about a normal marriage the very same questions. The main thing is to judge it like a normal marriage: First of all, is it for the glory of God? Second, is it good for His Kingdom, His Children? And last of all, is it good for you, right?

       13. SO I WOULD SAY YOU COULD USE EXACTLY THE SAME STANDARDS TO JUDGE A GIRL-AND-GIRL RELATIONSHIP: Is it for the glory of God? Does it make you both love the Lord more? Do you both love the Lord more, and are you better able to love the Lord together than separately? Second, are you better able to work for the Lord and do the Body good by having that attachment and that fellowship together? Do you work for Him better in unity together? And last of all, is it good for you personally? Is it satisfying, is it good for you, do you do it by faith without condemnation, does it have a good effect on you, and does it bear good fruit in your life and the lives of others?

       14. YOU CANNOT JUDGE ANY SUCH RELATIONSHIP, ANY MORE THAN YOU CAN JUDGE ANY OTHER HUMAN ACTIVITY ON THE SOLE BASIS OF WHETHER IT CAUSES SOMEBODY TO STUMBLE! There's hardly anything we can do which wouldn't cause somebody to stumble who is so weak that they couldn't take it, right? There may be some perfectly God-glorifying, Kingdom-blessing, self-satisfying marriages which are just perfectly beautiful which may be a very great stumbling block to some girl who wants the same boy and who's jealous and is mad at the girl for marrying the boy that she wanted, etc., you see?

       15. Therefore it stumbles her because she's a weak sister in that she didn't get him instead of the other gal!--Or she was in love with a girl and the girl married a boy, so she stumbled! Almost anything in the world could cause somebody to stumble if they're weak enough! So you can't judge whether a thing is totally right or totally wrong by whether it has a bad effect on certain really weak people, weak sisters, weak brothers.

       16. BECAUSE ALMOST EVERYTHING YOU DO IS GOING TO CAUSE SOMEBODY TO STUMBLE IF THEY KNOW ABOUT IT! The Churches have made almost everything illegitimate that's pleasurable and have declared almost everything that has anything to do with your body or sex or self or pleasure or almost anything pleasant as illegitimate, irreligious activity! So what are you going to do? I wrote a letter--"Amerika the Whore"--which nearly caused some weak people to stumble! My God, what are they going to do when they read, "Let's Talk about Jesus" or "Revolutionary Sex" or Revolutionary Lovemaking" or a few of those things!

       17. THERE ARE CERTAIN WEAK SISTERS WHO CAN ONLY GO SO FAR WITH YOU AND THAT'S THE END OF THEM! It didn't take very long for some of our weak churchy friends to fluke out!--And it just shows how weak and churchy they were! Some have remained pretty strong and stuck with us a long time, so they may survive, or God may take them before it gets too rough!

       18. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE PRETTY MATURE AND A PRETTY STRONG BOTTLE TO STAND THE STRONG NEW WINE OF THE SPIRIT that God's pouring out to us now in a no-holds-barred almost-anything-goes religion! We have real liberty, real freedom of the Spirit and the flesh! So how are you going to judge anything by making any flat-out rules that are all-inclusive and cover everything?--You can't!

       19. WE MAKE CERTAIN GENERAL RULES FOR MARRIAGE, BUT EVERY MARRIAGE HAS TO BE JUDGED ON ITS OWN FOUNDATION! Every tub's gotta stand on its own bottom, and you've got to judge each individual case by it's own merits as to whether it's good, good for them, good for the Lord, good for the Body and bears good fruits! So--what can you say? You ask, "Is it all right for me and So-and-so to have such-and-such a relationship?"

       20. HOW DO I KNOW? I DON'T KNOW YOU AND YOUR SO-AND-SO! I haven't lived with you a good many months or years so as to know what you're like and what your needs are and what your weaknesses are and whether you take it or not or leave it or not, or whether it is a good relationship or not or whether you're suited to each other or whether you make a good team for God's Work or whether it's for the glory of God or whether it's mutually beneficial or not!

       21. HOW DO I KNOW? I DON'T KNOW YOU THAT WELL, sad to say! I wish I did, but I'm not God and I just can't know everybody! I could pray about it and get some special answer from the Lord, but I don't know that God wants me to do that. I went through that once before where everybody in the Revolution was writing to me personally to know all the answers to all their little individual personal problems, but it was impossible!

       22. I TRY TO MINISTER TO EVERYONE ON A GENERAL BASIS, GIVE YOU GOD'S GENERAL RULES, but from there on you've got solve your own individual personal problems with the help of God and your closest associates. You have got to get in touch with God yourself and find out what is God's will for you! That was the inspiration of that Letter "Choice": --Somebody was writing to me, "What shall I do?" I wrote back and said God leaves it up to you!--What do you want to do? If you love Him above all things and you do all for the glory of God and you delight yourself in Him, He'll give you the desires of your heart!--What do you want?--Right? How am I to know?--Only you and God know! They say, "Well, you're the prophet of God! You're supposed to know everything!" I am a prophet of God, but I don't know everything!--I'm not God! I only know what God reveals to me, that's all! There are a lot of things I wonder about that God doesn't show me. I suppose if got serious enough about it and really got desperate and needed to know or wanted to know bad enough, God would tell me.

       23. BUT WHY SHOULD I SPEND ALL MY TIME SOLVING EVERYBODY'S INDIVIDUAL PROBLEMS and tying to give readings to everybody, like I have in a few important cases where we had to know about their character analysis, spiritual condition, etc. I wouldn't even have time to minister to all of our own Children! I wouldn't have time to minister to all of them anymore, but just along that line. I'd never have time for any more general revelations or any more general messages from God or anything else!

       24. I'D BE TOTALLY INVOLVED IN INDIVIDUAL PERSONAL PROBLEMS and relationships and have to give in individual specific answer of every single person in the Revolution! That's the whole idea of the Revolution: It's supposed to break you away from such manmade attachment and manmade dependence where everybody has to depend on one preacher, one denomination or one pope or whatever! Each one is supposed to find God for himself and be filled with the Holy Spirit and led by the Spirit of God individually so that they find the answers for themselves, their own individual cases!

       25. MY GOD, NO MAN ON THIS EARTH CAN FIND GOD'S WILL FOR EVERYBODY, NOT EVEN THE PROPHET OF GOD!--He just hasn't got the time and that's not his job! That's not even what he's supposed to be doing! He's got to find God's will for the whole Body, not every single individual little tiny personal problem of every individual personal member!

       26. MY PART IN THE THING IS TO LAY DOWN THE GENERAL RULES, to lay down the specific prohibitions or the general permissions. I'm all for what they call the "loose construction" of the Constitution: Whatever isn't specifically prohibited therefore must be generally permitted!

       27. I'M NOT A STRICT CONSTRUCTIONIST who says, "Well, if the Bible doesn't say you can do it, why then you can't do it!" My God, if that were true there would be ten thousands of things we couldn't do! Because you wouldn't be able to ride in an automobile or fly in an airplane or turn on a faucet or a light or anything else new, because the Bible didn't tell you you could do it! That's ridiculous!

       28. YOU HAVE TO HAVE A LITTLE COMMON SENSE AND A LITTLE WISDOM about some of these things! After all, if God didn't care enough about it or wasn't concerned enough about it or as to whether you did it or you didn't, so that He didn't make any special rule on the matter and He didn't say you couldn't, well, then apparently it's okay if you do it as far as He's concerned, as long as it follows the other general rules of conduct.

       29. "WHATSOEVER YOU DO IN WORD OR IN DEED, DO ALL TO THE GLORY OF GOD!" That's our rule, God's rule. What are the greatest commandments? "Love God with all your heart, love your neighbour as yourself!" Okay, if it lives up to those rules, then it's for the glory of God; and if you love the Lord and you love your neighbour and it's for love and in love and has good loving results, praise God!

       30. EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL CASE HAS TO BE INDIVIDUALLY DECIDED by the parties concerned before God, and I cannot decide it for them. They have to get alone with God and ask God and/or get together and ask God and ask each other and ask their associates and their leaders if they need to. Discuss it with the family and agree on it just like we agree on anything else.

       31. I CAN UNDERSTAND HOW THESE GIRLS COULD GET SO ATTACHED TO EACH OTHER. They could go into a relationship together where they could really genuinely emotionally fall in love with each other, perhaps as much as a man and a woman, where they really desire and long and yearn for each other's fellowship, want to sleep together and be together all the time and even love each other sexually!--Why not, if it's such a loving relationship?

       32. IT'S ALMOST LIKE A MARRIAGE! In many of the old cultures, the Greek culture, they allowed girls to get married! They had wedding ceremonies where the girls got married!--Yes! They promised themselves to each other and to live together and be true to each other and all this sort of thing just like a normal marriage! Whew, boy! Now wait till they hear that! "As though we weren't revolutionary enough already, now he's talking about lesbian marriages!"

       33. WELL, I DON'T FIND ANYTHING IN THE BIBLE THAT SAYS YOU CAN'T! I find plenty in the Bible that says that you cannot have homosexual man-with-man sexual relationships.--That is an abomination to God! He destroyed whole cities and whole civilisations for it and He slew men for it! Apparently it is a complete abhorrence to Him for some reason.

       34. (MARIA: BUT HE PUT A GREAT LOVE OF MEN FOR OTHER MEN IN THEIR HEARTS, DIDN'T HE?) Well there are many men who had a great love for each other: David and Jonathan had a tremendous love for each other, friendship for each other. There are people who always are claiming, "Well, that was probably a homosexual relation."--Hell no! I don't believe it had to be a homosexual relationship at all! No.

       35. "FILEO" OR BROTHERLY (OR SISTERLY) LOVE DOES NOT HAVE TO ALWAYS WIND UP IN SEX! Brotherly love, Godly love--these do not have to necessarily always wind up in each other's arms sexually. They're inclined to, but let's face it, if God's forbidden that between men, then they better lay off! But, if He hasn't forbidden it between women, I don't see why not!

       36. I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH FEMALE LESBIANISM, AND I THINK THE REASONS ARE OBVIOUS: Women cannot have the same kind of relationship that men can have with each other, and it cannot do their bodies the damage that men can do to their bodies, especially in the form that most sodomy takes.

       37. BUT DOCTORS WILL TELL YOU THAT MALE SODOMY IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU, and that it's apt to result in all kinds of tissue injuries and infections and damages, and it's just plain downright God-damn dirty! I don't see why any men in the world want to do it, except that it's demonic and a perversion because it's unscriptural and it's a sin and against the commandments of God, therefore the demons must inspire them to do it!

       38. BUT AS FAR AS I CAN SEE, I DON'T SEE WHAT DAMAGE ANY TWO WOMEN CAN DO TO EACH OTHER unless they use some mechanical devices, I've never read in any book, any scientific book on the subject where normal lesbianism could actually cause any physical injury or harmfulness, unless of course they use some stupid idiotic devices of some kind which are ridiculous.

       39. EVEN THEN I DON'T THINK THEY COULD CAUSE THE DAMAGE TO THE TISSUE THAT MEN CAN CAUSE, "men with men working that which is unseemly and receiving in their own bodies the recompense of their error which is meet," that which they justly deserve, their own punishment. But I don't see what's so strange about a little female-to-female masturbation!

       40. JUST TODAY I PUT THE PICTURES OF THOSE TWO GIRLS UP THERE ON THE WALL SIDE BY SIDE. I thought now, "How pretty! How sweet that is! Isn't that beautiful?" But it never dawned on me that it was illustrative of a beautiful sisterly lesbian relationship! I don't even like to use that name lesbian! What I'm talking about is a beautiful love relationship between two human beings, two individuals.--Forgot about the sex!--Right? How beautiful! I mean if they love each other and God hasn't prohibited it, why not?

       41. IF THAT LOVE WANTS TO BE EXPRESSED IN PHYSICAL LOVE, caressing, wooing, masturbating, kissing or whatever, I don't see what in the world could possibly be wrong with it anymore than any kind of masturbating or normal lovemaking! I don't see that there's anything wrong with that relationship anymore than there is with a marriage.

       42. PERHAPS THE PROBLEM WITH LESBIANISM COULD BE AN UNLOVING PROMISCUITY, as in any unwise sexual relationships. In this case two girls fall in love with each other in a sweet, sisterly spiritual as well as sexual relationship. Then along comes the lesbian to whom it meant nothing whether it was one girl or the other. But one of them becomes particularly attached to the lesbian and the other feels left out, and jealousy developed--as it sometimes does in other sexual relationships.

       43. WITH THE LESBIAN IT SEEMED TO BE A PURELY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. But with two of the girls it seemed to be more of a spiritual relationship, a loving sisterly affinity--real love!--And the lesbian came between them, sad to say.

       44. IF TWO GIRLS LOVE EACH OTHER THAT MUCH I DON'T SEE WHY THEY COULDN'T HAVE A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP together if it's really love, including a physical relationship. I don't see a thing in the world wrong with it. I don't see why it should cause any more problems than any other kind of normal physical sexual relationship, such as the normal physical relationship between a man and a woman, since it's not forbidden.

       45. THERE MIGHT BE SUCH AN ATTACHMENT THAT THEY'D EVEN WANT TO GET "MARRIED" and live together permanently, and so that it's a help to them and the Lord and the brethren! But when you consider how few girls we have and how many men we have (we've got two men to every girl, twice as many boys as girls!) and how badly our boys need wives, why the hell you women can't find some boys instead of having to shack up with each other I don't know!

       46. IS IT BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE BOYS, you don't want boys, or you're afraid of having babies, or what is it? It seems like you ought to pray that you can find a good husband! You say, "Well, we live in a Widow's Colony!" ... I have contended for this for I don't know how long: I don't know why the Widow's Colonies must remain Widow's Colonies!

       47. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THE IDEAL THING FOR THOSE WIDOW'S COLONIES IS FOR SOME MEN TO MOVE IN WITH THEM and take care of those widows so they're no longer widows and they've got some men to love them and take care of them and be husbands to them and fathers to their children! Is it because you boys are so selfish you're not willing to undertake the responsibilities of a family or of a wife who already has children?

       48. ARE YOU BOYS SO SELFISH OR SO JEALOUS THAT YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO BE A FATHER TO THESE POOR WIDOW'S CHILDREN? How can you say they're somebody else's children?--They're our children! I feel like every child in the Revolution is mine, and plenty of them are! Why should I feel any different between one and the other, huh?--They're our children! Not your children or my children--they are our children, God's children! And we should have sufficient love to take care of loving them all as equally as possible.

       49. SO WHY IN THE WORLD HAVEN'T YOU MEN GOT THE GUTS TO MARRY THESE WIDOWS? What is it with you men that you can't move in with these poor dear lonesome girls, everyone of whom needs a man and a father for her children and someone to help her and to love her and to protect her and provide for her and keep her and sleep with her and make love to her! Why can't they find some boys? You'd think they were some kind of lepers' colonies instead of mere lonely widows!

       50. I DON'T CARE IF WHILE THEY'RE WAITING FOR THE BOYS TO GET UP THE GUTS TO COME HELP THEM IF THEY WANT TO SLEEP TOGETHER AND ENJOY EACH OTHER, fine!--Or if they fall in love with each other, so what? But it seems kind of sad when we're so short of women and have got so many boys that these girls can't find any men! Why not? That's what bugs me!

       51. WHERE ARE THE MEN? Haven't we got any men? Or are you just a bunch of little boys who are scared to death of big girls! So what if she has a child by somebody else? I don't care what the situation is!

       52. IF THE GIRL NEEDS A MAN AND SHE NEEDS A HUSBAND, I THINK SHE OUGHT TO TRY TO GET ONE! If she's lost the one she had before, she should find a new one! If there's no hope for reconciliation, no hope for reunion with the father of her child or whoever he is, or he's a Systemite and not a member of the Revolution or whatever the score is, for God's sake and her children's sake and her own sake she ought to look herself up a new one, find a new man, a new husband!

       53. AND WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU BOYS THAT YOU DON'T LOVE THOSE WIDOWS enough to try to go in and help them out at least once in a while! For goodness sake. I'd like to go help them myself! God bless them! I feel so sorry for you poor Widows! I'll tell you, if I were one of you guys I sure would! I'm not suggesting that our Widow's Colonies ought to become whore houses, and they certainly never will because we don't do anything for money, but I don't understand the selfishness of you boys or the perversion of you women that you don't want men, or the boys don't want you girls!

       54. WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG?--ARE YOU BOYS SUCH PANSIES that you're afraid to marry women, is that it? God help us! Personally I prefer women and I don't think anything would ever change me on that!--And I've got enough of them! They love me and I love them. And I certainly don't believe in sodomy! I believe it's absolutely an abomination to God, these male-and-male homosexual relationships.

       55. SODOMY DOESN'T APPEAL TO ME in any way, shape or form and never has! It just disgusts me and sickens me to even think about it! I'm not blaming the poor boys who have some kind of satanic perversion or demonic impulse that tries to drive them into that kind of a relationship. It's really sad! I feel sorry for them and they've got to pray and ask God to get them out of it and deliver them from that kind of a spirit--it's anti-Christ, anti-God, anti-Bible, anti-Nature!

       56. BUT TWO BOYS COULD BE VERY, VERY GOOD FRIENDS. They don't have to have sex with each other! They can love each other very much like David and Jonathan did, and like Jesus and John the Beloved. He was called the beloved disciple because he was always laying his head on Jesus' bosom he loved Him so much. He was apparently a very young disciple. Jesus was about thirty, but John they say was only in his teens.

       57. BUT TO IMPLY THERE WAS A HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP IN THESE BIBLE CASES JUST MAKES ME FIGHTING MAD! It makes me sick! Maybe John had that inclination, but I'm sure that Jesus never would have tolerated it. But they could love one another. I'm sure it was more like a brotherly love by far than anything else.

       58. BUT EVERY SINGLE INDIVIDUAL CASE HAS TO BE JUDGED ON ITS OWN MERITS and its own conditions, their own personalities, their own situation, the whole effect and counter effect of the whole affair.

       59. I THINK THE SOLUTION FOR MOST OF THESE POOR WIDOWS IS TO MARRY. I think that to make love to each other is only a temporary solution, as I have said before, but it's better to marry than to burn. I think it's even better to masturbate than to burn!--But I think it's far better to marry than to masturbate!--Right?

       60. THOUGH THESE POOR WIDOWS MIGHT HELP EACH OTHER IN EMERGENCIES IN THE ABSENCE OF ANY MEN, FOR GOD'S SAKE WHERE ARE THE MEN? Boys--where the hell are you? Why can't you help these poor widows out and marry'em?--Take care of them, love them, so they won't have to love each other sexually. They ought to love each other spiritually, of course, sister-like. So that's the way I feel about it!

       61. LESBIANISM SO-CALLED COULD POSSIBLY NECESSARILY BE A STOPGAP, A TEMPORARY INTERIM SOLUTION to a sexual need. But two girls can be very dear close friends without having to necessarily express it that way, although why not? I mean if they feel like it and they need it, why couldn't they sleep with each other? If they get horny, why can't they masturbate each other, love each other, comfort and caress each other, kiss each other and make each other feel good?

       62. I DON'T SEE WHY NOT! I don't see a thing wrong with it myself. It's not going to hurt them any more than normal masturbation unless there are special problems such as there were in this case where they had developed a jealous triangle and somebody feels left out. That's not love when somebody feels left out.

       63. ONCE THERE'S A LOVING RELATIONSHIP ESTABLISHED IT SHOULDN'T BE JUST SUDDENLY BROKEN OFF and deserted and the other person left alone and feeling unloved and unwanted any more than in any other type of relationship.

       64. THAT'S WHY DIVORCE WAS SUCH AN ABHORRENCE TO THE LORD. We don't believe in divorce in any shape or form if we can help it, unless the original union just was not of God and never did work and won't work and can't work. But as long as two people love each other or three people love each other or whatever, they ought to continue to love each other, amen?

       65. JESUS HELP US! LORD HELP THESE PEOPLE TO FIND THY WILL and to love You with all their hearts and love each other with all their hearts, and not to hurt each other. Please help them to avoid hurting each other! Such relationships should be like in the Bible: According to Biblical law, if the husband for example had more than one wife he was still to keep up his "duty of marriage" (lovemaking or intercourse) with the other wife as much as possible, continue to provide for her, to love her and care for her just like his new wife.

       66. GOD HATES "PUTTING AWAY" DIVORCE OR DESERTION--THAT'S NOT LOVE! So if any of these relationships, even lesbian relationships, if somebody else comes along they shouldn't just forsake the first one and cleave only to the next one. That's just like divorce or "putting away," an abomination to God, right? (Maria Unless they both find someone else that they can love and live with.)--Yes.

       67. THERE ARE SO MANY ANGLES to it you just can't possible delve into all of them. Every single case has its own peculiarities and you have to deal with each case individually as to whether it's good or bad, or good for them or bad for them, or good for the work or bad for the work, or of the Lord or not of the Lord. So they just have to figure that out for themselves with the Lord's and leaders' help and by the leading of the Spirit.

       68. LORD, JESUS DO HELP THEM! Help these girls, Lord, to love You most of all, and to love each other, to love one another, their neighbours as themselves, and to treat each other with great love--not to abandon one another and leave somebody with a broken aching heart and alone and feeling unloved and unwanted and deprived.

       69. LORD, WE ASK THAT YOU HELP THEM IN JESUS' NAME TO FIND REAL LOVE for each other, and particularly, Lord, for some poor needy brother who needs them and could give them what they need. Help the boys to have more guts and courage, Lord, and more unselfish love, to be willing to take these poor widows, and to marry them and help them.

       70. THESE WIDOW'S HOUSES, LORD, GOT STARTED WHEN WE HAD TO PUT THEM IN SPECIAL HOUSES because of the Scriptural injunction You gave in Your Word about the Widows "not to be taken into the number" of a normal Colony under a certain age because You knew they would get hot and horny and want another man. But You didn't say they couldn't have a man, Lord, or that they couldn't have a new husband in their own Colony!--Why not?

       71. SO LORD, WE ASK THAT YOU HELP THESE DEAR GIRLS! SEND THEM SOME MEN TO HELP THEM, love them, care for them, provide for them, protect them, sleep with them, love them, make love to them, give them what they need, real love and real unity and real fellowship, companionship, to be really one with someone they love.

       72. WE BELIEVE THAT MARRIAGE IS THE BEST SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM, Lord, because that's the normal solution and Thy ordained way, the best. We believe the other is not ordained but it is permitted because of the need. You didn't prohibit it, Lord, but You also obviously didn't advocate it. But You certainly did advocate marriage, Lord--heterosexual, male/female marriage, for lots of good reasons, Lord.

       73. SO WE ASK YOU TO SEND THESE DEAR GIRLS SOME MEN who'd be willing to marry them and love them and give them what they need. And supply the needs of the many boys we have, Lord, who needs these women, be they widows or otherwise, that they may have a normal relationship, the ordained and blessed relationship, Lord, of genuine heterosexual male/female marriage that You ordained from the beginning, Lord.

       74. "IN THE BEGINNING GOD CREATED THEM MALE AND FEMALE!--MALE AND FEMALE CREATED HE THEM!"--"AND THESE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH!" So Lord, that's the only way they'll ever be truly satisfied and the only way they'll ever be truly united, when they're united normally and physically as a man and a wife should be. That will be the most satisfying relationship and the most lasting, because that's what You intended for it to be!

       75. YOU MAY PERMIT OTHER TEMPORARY SUBSTITUTES, Lord, but we don't believe anything will ever last or be truly blessed and wholly satisfying like the normal marriage relationship. So Lord, "let them marry, that they sin not!" In Jesus' name, amen.

       76. I THANK GOD THAT MY OWN MOTHER WAS AN EXTREMELY TOLERANT, UNDERSTANDING AND SYMPATHETIC WOMAN! She herself was the greatest woman evangelist of her denomination if not her time--author, lecturer, poetess, dramatist and world traveler of broad experience.

       77. BROUGHT UP A PROMINENT AND WEALTHY MINISTER'S DAUGHTER, she had nevertheless kicked over the traces of her conservative upbringing and had her fling in the fountains of worldly pleasure, from the absinthe houses and music halls of Paris and the gambling casinos of Monte Carlo to the Chinese opium dens of St. Louis and San Francisco, she knew the world for what it was.

       78. HER ROMANTIC ADVENTURES WITH PROMINENT FIGURES were as colourful and varied as her travels, and her father, a multimillionaire, was wealthy and indulgent enough to give her anything that her spoiled heart desired. But like Lord Byron she came to say, "I have drunk every draft of pleasure and quaffed every cup of fame and yet I die of thirst! '

       79. A YOUNG AND LONELY GIRL IN HER TWENTIES while participating in a wild weekend party of high society at the home of General Winfield Scott in Ft. Worth, Texas, she actually contemplated suicide, but providentially she remembered something she had often heard her father tell others, "Instead of throwing your life away, why not give it away to some good cause?"

       80. SO SHE BECAME NATIONAL FIELD SECRETARY OF THE FLORENCE CRITTENDON HOMES FOR "FALLEN GIRLS" taking Charles Crittendon's--its founder's--place when he died and raising millions for the establishment of these homes for girls in trouble throughout the world.

       81. IN THE COURSE OF HER EXPERIENCES IN THIS RESCUE WORK, she learned a great deal about the problems of young girls from unwed motherhood and social ostracisement to prostitution and white slavery, including a great deal about drug problems and various forms of sexual immorality.

       82. SHE HAD HELPED MANY GIRLS TO OVERCOME THEIR DIFFICULTIES and become rehabilitated into useful happy and accepted members of society. These years of labouring with some of the lowest strata of society and even its criminal elements had given her a very deep understanding of youth and particularly the problems of young women.

       83. WHEN SHE LATER BECAME A WORLD FAMOUS EVANGELIST PREACHING JESUS CHRIST AS THE ANSWER because of the change He had made in her own life, she was able to continue to help many other young people with these same problems.

       84. A PARTICULAR CASE IN POINT RELATING TO OUR SUBJECT OF LESBIANISM I REMEMBER VERY WELL while traveling with her as her chauffeur, secretary and singer:

       85. THERE WAS A CERTAIN YOUNG WOMAN EVANGELIST who was conducting highly successful campaigns in her denomination and having tremendous results particularly amongst young people.

       86. THIS YOUNG WOMAN WAS AN EXTREMELY FORCEFUL, SOMEWHAT MASCULINE TYPE of personality, and her short bobbed hair, tailored suits, husky voice and broad-shouldered physique seemed to emphasise her mannishness even more.

       87. TRAVELING WITH HER AS HER SECRETARY, SONGSTRESS AND CHILDREN'S ARTIST WAS AN EXTREMELY FEMININE, frail delicate and sensitively beautiful young wisp of a girl who was her constant companion and team mate in all of her campaigns.

       88. THEY MADE AN EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD COMBINATION, seemed perfectly adapted to each other, each having what the other needed both physically, spiritually and professionally.

       89. BUT AMONGST THE BLUE-NOSED, LONG-TONGUED GOSSIPS of some of the churches where they were working some talk had arisen about their relationship which caused the denominational council to call it into question.

       90. THEY COULD NOT DENY THE MIGHTY MIRACLE OF THE WORK THAT SHE WAS ACCOMPLISHING and its excellent fruits amongst young people, but they were constantly being embarrassed by some of the gossip being juicily enjoyed by some of the older sisters of the churches. So being herself a woman of vast experience and reputation as already described my mother was called in to investigate the matter and interview the young couple.

       91. I drove her to their home and remember meeting them, and though I was not in on the private personal conversations she had with each and both of them, I remember well my own impressions and some of Mother's explanations which followed.

       92. I WAS YOUNG AND SINGLE MYSELF AT THE TIME and so, as most young men do, was keeping a wary eye on each girl I became acquainted with regarding her possible candidacy for the ministry of a minister's wife, of course.

       93. THE YOUNGER, MORE FEMININE AND BEAUTIFUL OF THE TWO NATURALLY APPEALED TO ME much more than the boyish masculinity of the other. But when my mother explained to me afterward that there was something more to their relationship than met the eye, I was somewhat flabbergasted!--But that she was not horrified at it and indeed seemed quite tolerant of it amazed me even more!

       94. AND WHEN SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS GOING TO RECOMMEND TO THE DENOMINATION THAT SHE SAW NOTHING WRONG in their relationship and that she felt that they should be encouraged, rather, to continue in their very fruitful ministry together, I was absolutely astonished! I had hardly even heard of such things much less approved of them, but here my mother was being deeply sympathetic and understanding and recommending that in this particular case they continue as they were--which they did with phenomenal success!

       95. I REMEMBER HOW, IN GRATITUDE, WHEN THE OLDER GIRL WAS CONDUCTING ONE OF HER GREATEST CAMPAIGNS in one of the largest churches of her denomination in Long Beach, California, this grateful young woman evangelist sent a car all the way to Huntington Beach many miles away to bring my mother to attend this young couple's greatest meeting and enjoy its glory and the delightful outcome and happy ending of this fascinating story of a most--at that time to me--unusual relationship, which they were continuing splendidly the last that I heard!

       96. THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE DID ONE GREAT THING FOR ME PERSONALLY: IT SHOWED ME THE GREAT WISDOM AND LOVE OF GOD through my mother, and taught me a tolerance, patience and comprehension that I had never known before in this matter of so-called "sexual aberration" which some even condemn as "perversion."

       97. THIS IS A TOLERANCE WHICH, SAD TO SAY, THE AVERAGE CHURCHES HAVE NEVER YET SEEMED TO LEARN, but who continue to condemn unequivocally and out of hand all such relationships and sexual practices with which they themselves are unfamiliar, experienced and totally lacking in understanding or sympathy.

       98. IT REMINDS ME OF WHAT ONE OF MY CHILDREN USED TO SAY when he was little when offered an unfamiliar food: "I know I don't like it, Daddy--I never had any before!" The churches and ultra-conservative authorities know it must be wrong because it never happened to them and they know nothing about it, so they condemn it. God help us to be more loving and understanding in each case according to its merits.

       99. EACH CASE HAS TO BE JUDGED ON ITS OWN MERITS: If it has good fruit fine. If not, it should be broken up. On the other hand, some very strange relationships seem to be pure and innocent and very sweet true love. But girls obsessed with a desire for only girls are possibly possessed of a male spirit, in which case I would call that a perversion, and possibly Satanic or demonic.

       100. ANY GIRL WHO DOESN'T LIKE RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN AT ALL AND ONLY LIKES GIRLS HAS SOME KIND OF A PERVERTED SPIRIT! But a girl who can be bisexual and have relationships with either, I'd say she's normal. But any girl that's totally obsessed with women only and can't stand men at all and is strictly lesbian only is perverted, and it's possibly even a spiritual thing, a spiritual perversion and dangerous and should be prayed for to be delivered. That's my opinion.

       101. HOWEVER, THERE ARE SOME WOMEN WHO ARE EVIDENTLY BORN WITH EXCESSIVE MALE HORMONES AND CHARACTERISTICS and are almost more male than female, and therefore have an unusual desire for other women rather than men. These are to be pitied and prayed for to be healed, like any other sickness or unnatural deformity, and not to be condemned but loved.

       102. SOMETIMES THESE WHO ARE BORN MANNISH MAKE VERY GOOD PARTNERS and establish happy and satisfactory relationships with some girls and this may satisfy the needs of some. But I do not believe anything can take the place of normal heterosexual marriage. Anything else is at best a poor substitute and should normally be no more than temporary until the real thing comes along--a man!--Amen?--So men, get on the stick!--Or girls get on their sticks!--Amen?

       103. SO THESE ARE MY PERSONAL OPINIONS, and you can take them or leave them, since the Scripture has nothing to say on the subject. However, I believe the above counsel is good advice and should be adhered to as much as possible--"as much as lieth in you." Pray and the Lord will lead you aright--Amen?

       104. JUST REMEMBER: "WHATSOEVER IS NOT OF FAITH IS SIN!"--SO IF IN DOUBT, DON'T--Let every girl "be fully persuaded in her own mind," and not over-persuaded by others! I love you all and I wish I could help you more, but this is the best I can do!--Your MO.

Copyright (c) 1998 by The Family

 


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